Sometimes you have to think weird

I listened to a song about survivors missing a loved one. Don’t know the name, didn’t really care for it. It was no where as good as Angel’s Calling. Anyway, it started me to think about how hard it would be for me if Karen were to die before me. Especially in the first few days when everyone goes home and I am alone. Then I moved to thinking how hard it would be for Karen in the same situation. I began to consider if I hoped she would die first so she didn’t have to bear the loss. But I thought that doesn’t sound too good. Then I thought maybe it would be best if I died first so I wouldn’t have to face that. But, that isn’t fair, kind of self serving. What a quandary. Then I remembered it didn’t really matter what conclusion I came to, it wasn’t up to me. What a comfort that our times are in His hands and He will do what is best and give grace when it is needed to those who need it.